You may have noticed I've been on a bit of a hiatus. Part of my hiatus from TWBP has been because I've been working on finishing a scholarly article describing a practice framework I developed for helping professionals called Empathetic Partnership. (More on that to come soon.)
The other part of that hiatus has been because I've been wanting to change but not sure how to do it. And that led to digging deep into the the center of my being and the realization of how much I need to let go in my life. Of so many things. And a few people.
So, I've been practicing allowing the artterrifying mess grace of letting go.
For me, letting go has to feel like an allowing instead of an active motion. Allowing implies that it is ready (whatever it is), and all I have to do is stop holding onto it so tightly. So I don't call it a practice or an art. Sometimes it's much more simple than a practice. And sometimes it simply doesn't feel like an art.
I've never been good at letting go. Change has always been a challenge for me. Usually when someone (or something) tells me to let go, I push my heels in deeper. Because I'm scared. But as I've been diving deep into my center, I've realized so much of what has kept me from standing up in my life and owning my awesome is because of what I have not been ready to let go of. Not Letting go of things like:
The illusion of control
The anger of being judged for being gay, for being divorced, or for x, y and z.
Of who I thought I would should be
Habits that don't make me feel good anymore.
Whenever we push against the reality and refuse to accept what is, we will feel conflict in our hearts and in our bodies.
And this only creates congestion in our energy, pain in our bodies and fractures in our hearts. It can be pretty ugly.
There have been many teachers along my path to learning that there is much to let go of in order to gain the freedom and joy I desire. Here is a short list of many:
Tara Brach -- Radical Acceptance, Byron Katie -- Loving What Is, Brene Brown --The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly and her research on shame, vulnerability and empathy. Louise Hay -- You can Heal your Heart, You Can Heal You Life, and so much of her work around letting love in. Elizabeth Gilbert -- Eat Pray Love (this book is heals my heart in ways I can't describe), Eve Ensler --In the Body of the World and her advocacy work. (Her latest book, In the Body of the World, is so profound). Mark Nepo, Oprah, Kelly McGonigal and so many more.
Letting go of old stuff, relationships concepts, beliefs, or ideas that no longer serve you creates space for more of what feeds your soul. More of what makes you feel like you. The version of yourself you like best.
Sometimes it's hard to let go of what you are holding onto until you know what you can grab next. I think of this like stones on a path. I don't like jumping from one stone until I can visualize where I will land next. This is important in real-life, physical scenarios. But, when it comes to the heart, sometimes you have to let go with faith because what's next isn't always revealed until the Universe knows you trust it enough to let go of what is not serving you without a guarantee of what is to come.
What the Universe will guarantee, however, is that when you DO, in fact, let go of what is no longer serving you, you will always be rewarded by the generosity that an open heart creates.
In the end, only three things matter:
how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.
So, what are you ready to let go of to create the life you want?
What are you willing to move on from to open your heart up to yourself once again?
Much Love to you on your journey,